11.59.58am

Old guy outside the window takes one last drag of his smoke and comes through the door. This is great, I’m in an old man’s pub.

I couldn’t find my black work slacks earlier so I’m working in a bar in tailor made (in Thailand in fairness) slacks and shirt. I later realised I left them in the bank 3 months ago so I’d have to call back in to get them sometime. The managers/landlords or whatever seem a lot different to yesterday. He’s standing up a lot straighter and not at an angle like he was before. Plus he’s speaking a lot clearer too, and his face isn’t so red. Something is different but I can put my finger on it. Surely…no it can’t be…he couldn’t have been absolutely pissed during my interview at 12.30 in the day yesterday?

That evening there was a (for the most part) lesbian hockey team in. They took up a good bit of the bar with their bags everywhere and were fairly boisterous. But they weren’t rude or insulting anyone. They were singing songs and all but not the type you’d expect to hear from a sports team. The one they sang the most went like this:

"If you are a laddy
And want to follow Daddy
Then London is the best place in the land
Core blimey!"

What the hell is that shit? They sound like they just walked off the set of Oliver. There was no slagging other teams or a mention of eating rats in council houses or anything. One ginger girl had "Mental Fresher" above the number 20 on her back, bit lame but it must have worked cause she was scoring the hottest one there. At one stage I was pouring a drink for some guy and 3 of the girls were up at the bar right in front of me comparing sports underwear. One of them pulled the top of her tracksuit bottoms down to show the others what she was talking about. Meanwhile I’m over-filling this guys pint and its pouring all over my £2 Primark fabric shoes link. Ladies please, I’m trying to concentrate here. Probably for the first time this century an old lad got up off his stool and moved to the other side of the bar for a closer look.