No hot drinks
One guy came up to the bar and asked for 2 cups of tea
“No can do” I replied “we don’t sell hot drinks”
“Ok..eh…eh..coffee?”
One dimensional German guy
German guy asks what crisps we have.
I started “eh salt and vinegar, cheese and onion…”
“Ok, one cheese and one onion”
“No that’s the same flavour”
“Ok then two of them, how much is it?”
“1.50”
He hands me one 50p coin.
Glass collector boy
I was floating around picking up glasses and an old guy in the corner says
“here he goes
on his toes
picking up glasses I suppose”
I couldn’t help but smile and felt like a bit of a superhero for a while after that
Small medium or large
Woman comes to the bar, asks for a glass of wine.
“what size would you like? Small medium or large?”
“Oh it doesn’t matter”
“Medium?”
“Oh God no, small, small”
Hot glass plus cold beer equals warm beer
Pouring two pints for a guy, I leave one on the bar while I pour the other. He picks it up, looks at it and says “it’s roasting”. I was like yeah, no shit, I just picked it out of the machine, duh. He says “it’ll take all the coldness out of the beer.” Still answering the first question, I reassured him that the glass will cool down in a minute and he shouldn’t worry about it. Perplexed he took his drinks away. Sometime later I realised that he was upset, and what he was upset about.
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