Almost famous 2

SCENE 1. INT. BIG TENT. 10AM.

Saturday morning, further out than where we were the last day. It was the weekend in January before the weekend it snowed so it was freezing. My one day of filming but it’s a night scene so we don’t start shooting til 5pm. About 70 of us sitting on benches waiting around.

Some guy who looks like he’s in charge:

If you could all look at your sheet and start thinking about your character. If you are smart you might start thinking what it was like, what was my character like.

All it said on most sheets was ‘fairgoer,’ how can you become a method extra based on just that snippet of information?

This is a very important scene in the film, it’s the opening scene: a night scene set at a fairground in the summer, and you see Judy’s character 19 years old and she meets a young guy and they end up well, getting together. And this sets in motion what happens for the rest of the story. Em, if everyone with a green tick on their sheet could you come up and get breakfast first and then everyone else follow after.

I knew from the start that that green tick meant something, I fucking knew it.

I could feel the envy burning into my back as I collected my sausage and eggs with 7 others: 3 other guys and 4 girls, all very young looking. Then it clicked: because I thought I was going to be in a movie with the Fastbender I put down on my profile that I would do nude scenes to get more roles. I had also put down that I could play anything between 18 and 22. It all made sense: there are probably not a lot of Irish teenagers in London and I was the youngest looking they could find. I look 19 but I have that maturity you only get with age that they’ve obviously singled out as something they need for this production, and now here I am nailing the part for the most important scene in the film. Ha ha ha! I can see it now, John has 4 mates, Philiomena has 4 mates and we’re all egging them on to do the dirty. My face will be there front and centre and a little to the left pointing at her, go on John, shift her bye. Fuck, I should have gotten into acting before.

I sat down with my breakfast next to a group of older guys in their 50’s and 60’s. One guy was doing all the talking and every now and then he’d sing “pleased to meet you, hope you catch my name.” He was talking at length about different accents, apparently he studied them.

Accent guy: (to one of the old guys, speaking very fast and very enthusiastically)

I like all the accents: Jamaican, Welsh. You’re from Liverpool are you? Liverpool is a very tiring accent to listen to but you have a great speaking voice, in Dublin they say ‘turn’ like this but in Liverpool they say ‘turn.’ See, you’ve dropped a tone. Have you had elocution lessons? You must have…….Are you religious? I’m a huge Elvis fan man, there’s only one God in my life and that’s Elvis Presley. The King. Oh yeah, I’ve seen people crippled, in wheelchairs, and getting up out of their chair to touch the man, that’s a real miracle. I’ve seen him twice you know. Down in Memphis I was on a bus and this black guy got up and said “what’s the name of that song: caught in a trap?” and then we all started singing: “we can’t go on together, do do do do do,” it was great fun. I went to his grave and I broke down and I cried and cried. I cried like a baby. I was at one of his concerts and I reached up and touched him and he gave me his scarf, I got beaten up for that scarf but I pushed it down way down and ran to the back. At the end he said “hey, where did that little guy go who I gave the scarf to?” He wanted to know if I was OK but I just got out of there as fast as I could. Pleased to meet you, aw yeah.

Then the 8 of us got called into costume first. There was a red haired chap, early 20’s from the whest of Ireland, and two 18 year old English lads: one had an Irish name but the other was as English as can be. 2 of the girls were dizzy 16 year olds, the other 2 were 18. They all had Irish first or second names but that’s as Irish as they got. Only myself and the red head were Irish. If there’s a line going surely I’ve a 50% chance of getting it now. “Go on John, shift her!” The costumes looked really well, us four lads could have been a 1950’s boy band: Ed Sheeran’s granddad, Harry Stiles’ granddad, and two other ones.  They kitted me out with this massive over coat to keep me warm in any weather but later on the head costume woman came around and took it off.  I was gutted, and about to be cold.

SCENE 2. INT. HAIR AND MAKE-UP

On a chair in front of a mirror with lights around it getting my hair sprayed and my hands covered in fake dirt

Chinese hair stylist:

You have good hair. You are quite smart aren’t you?

Me:

I guess

SCENE 3. INT. BIG TENT.

Lunch.

Ed Sheeran looking guy:

Two free meals and all I’ve done is gotten dressed, sure this is great, apricot crumble and everything.

SCENE 4. EXT. FAIRGROUND.

We got brought down to the set to be shown around, just the 8 stars. It was freezing cold and fairly breezy so we stood in a stall out of the way. Someone came around giving out hand and foot warmers. A couple of people passed cause we’d only been in the cold a few minutes but I got four. When the rest of my body and face are froze to death at least I’ll have warm hands and feet. They were rehearsing and asking for quiet. Steve was banging around braving the cold in just a suit jacket.

Me:

I don’t believe it.

Ed:

You know what he’d love? If you went over and shouted ‘Aw hawww’ in his face, he’d love that. Have you seen Moone boy? Touchy feely, gas

Then came the big break, we were on the way back up to the tent and some assistant director (AD) asked for 2 people to come back for a rehearsal. For some reason I didn’t volunteer

SCENE 5. INT. MINI-VAN.

Everyone left for the set but then an AD told the 8 of us to wait in the van. We weren’t needed til later so it was best to stay in the van and keep warm. We were the special ones. One of the 16 year olds was last to get in. She had a smoothie in her hand. Where did she get that? Somehow she managed to trip up in a small mini-van on the way to her seat, and fall and not put her hands out to protect herself. I stretched my left arm out in the direction she was falling but I guess I didn’t put much effort in and all that really happened was her face slapped my hand and pushed it into the seat two seats over from me. She lay there for a bit, not really knowing how to get up. Eventually someone helped her. Then she talked and talked and talked. Never heard so much shite. The red head guy called her a gobshite and asked her if she’s from Pluto.

Some AD opened the door and popped his head in.

AD 3:

I need two couples for the next scene, who wants to do it? Let me see, who would look good together…

I sat there like a rabbit in the headlights as he picked the 4 people nearest to him. Another missed opportunity. The red head was gone. The gobshite was left.

Gobshite:

What age are you?

Me:

28

Gobshite:

Are you married?

Me:

Yeah, 2 kids at home too

Collective:

Awwwwwww

Me:

Nah I’m only messing

Collective:

Aw

Gobshite:

So you have a girlfriend?

Me:

No

Gobshite:

Why not?

English guy:

Man you should come out clubbin’ with us innit

Other girl:

Yeah, we’ll get you someone

Too much talking. I went out for a smoothie and a walk. They had this cool chipper van shop hidden away that had smoothies and lollipops and hot drinks and loads of stuff that you felt guilty about not paying for. I stocked up. Eventually I got cold and had to go back to the van and face up to the unbearable conversation for who knows how much longer.

All the working extras came back past the vans and into the tent for a break. Ed got in the van.

Ed:

Where have you’s been? They’ve been filming for ages and we’ve been walking around in the shot. Not properly in the shot but you know if the background somewhere, you’s should just come down and get in. We’ve a break for 5 minutes then I’m heading back.

It was almost 9. Surely we were going to get called down for the big scene soon. We hung on a while longer then enough was enough. I couldn’t stand listening to conversations about school and homework and boys any longer. Me and dopey drawers marched down to the set.

SCENE 6. EXT. BEHIND SET.

Had a little look but they were filming so went to a tent behind the set where someone was handing out curry in a cup. Would be rude not to. The Elvis fan was there burning the ear off someone

Accent guy:

...yeah I met The Who loads of times man...

I went back and forth to the edge of the set a couple of times grabbing food and drinks off the people handing them out whenever I could. How can actors concentrate on acting for take after take with all the stop start messing going on and tons of extras hanging around slack-jawed munching on food in the background? I could imagine them filming the 17 minute scene in Hunger when The Fastbender is talking to the priest and then some dopey drawers extra tries to get a look in behind the camera and trips over and ruins the scene 16 minutes in. The Fastbender would jump up and dick-slap the guy in the face.

SCENE 7. EXT. SET. BEHIND CAROUSEL TO RINGTOSS

The scene ended. Mary was there. I went over to chat to her and then some AD came over and told us we were to walk arm in arm over to the ring toss for the next shot. Wait a minute, are you sure I’m meant to be in this scene with Mary cause if they see me walking with her now and then I’m with one of Philiomenas friends later it won’t look right. I’m one of John’s friends you know.

Mary:

I’m a hussey, I was just holdin’ hands with another guy by the fish bowls in the last scene

Me:

I shouldn’t even be in this scene, I’m John’s friend, you know

We walk over to the ring toss. Greet stall holder. Hand over imaginary money. Smile. Pick up rings. End of scene. Put down rings. Unlink arms. Walk back over to beginning spot.

Director: (voice from somewhere)

One more!

All the assistant directors:

Reload!

I was deflated. I shouldn’t be in the background like this, I was destined for the foreground. I felt like shouting. Why isn’t anyone making a fuss about me? I’m John’s friend! John’s friend!! Wait a minute, was that a Pakistani guy wearing a sombrero in the stall next to the ring toss? What the fuck is going on here, it’s meant to be Ireland in the 50’s,  I need to talk to the director.

SCENE 8. EXT. SET. BEHIND CAROUSEL TOWARDS HOUSE OF MIRRORS

Suddenly everyone had descended on where we were standing behind the carousel. There was a camera crew to our left in the direction of the ring toss. And there was another one on our right that would pan across from the right side of the carousel towards us. Behind them were a couple of screens playing each take with the director, first AD, and a load of randomers looking on. They did a few rehearsals. The main couple were to walk from the house of mirrors at the far side of the carousel along the left side to the exact spot where we were starting from. That was the scene, a 20 yard walk. It was one person’s job to take big warm jackets off the couple at the start and then run around and put them back on them when they got to the end point. Meanwhile me and Mary had to pass the camera just when the carousel was in the way of the couple to fill the space and then disappear out of shot. Pretty much just the right side of my head will be on screen. Of course we had to mime to each other as we passed the camera and pretend we’re a couple and all. We had one AD all to ourselves telling us what to do. He’d hold the back of my jacket until the right moment and then let go and I’d have to walk by the camera while he got out of the shot. No one told us what to do once we got past the carousel though so we’d wander around aimlessly til we heard cut.

Director:

Action!

John: (in a bog accent)

I like your dress, did you make it yourself?

Philiomena: (definitely not in an Irish accent)

No, my mother did, she also told me not to talk to strange men.

Our AD: (whispering)

Hold on...hold on...ok now go!

He pushed me off, I pushed Mary off and we walked by the camera. Shit, better think of something to mime

Me: (miming)

Hey, eh look at that, you want to eh….

John:

Sure look at your man over there; he’s a rope for a belt

Director:

Cut, one more

AD’s:

Reload

Our AD:

Ok this time maybe go a little slower and Mary you need to go in front of him a bit or we can’t see you on the screen. So you have to be turning back and looking at him. And smile more, you’re a couple, are you’s a couple in real life?

Mary: (deadpan)

Yeah

Our AD:

Well then it should be easy, OK let’s do it again

Director:

Action

We did it again, I tried smiling a bit more, same mumbly nothing mime again though. But it was more than Mary did, she wasn’t miming a word. And she a trained actress.

Director:

Cut, one more

Our AD:

OK, we aren’t getting any chemistry from you. You aren’t really miming; you need to really look like you’re having a conversation. And look like you’re in love. When the camera comes across here you two are taking up the shot just before we see John and Philiomena. We see one love story and then it leads on to the other couple over there, so we need a bit more from you guys.

Director:

Action

Our AD: (whispering)

And go

Me: (miming, in John’s accent)

I like your dress, did you make it yourself?

Shit I can’t use John’s lines. If this makes the cut you’ll hear John saying it and then see my dopey head taking up the whole screen miming the same words straight after.

Director:

Action

Me: (miming, in John’s accent)

Sure look at your man over there, he’s a rope for a belt

I just kept doing it, I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Then it came to me. There’s a girl in my class from close enough to Limerick. One time in class I said something to her and she said “don’t hate the player, hate the game” in her little culchie accent and then I impersonated her and we had a right laugh so we did.

Director:

Action

Me: (in a shit girls Limerick accent)

Don’t hate the player, hate the game

The more I did this the more I’d laugh internally and smile externally and then Mary would turn her head back to me and flash a smile and I’d be pulling on her arm playfully telling her about player hating. It would look like I really know how to make her laugh and this would make me smile more. Then she’d smile more. Young love. This is believable. Are you getting this?

Director:

Cut, one more

Our AD:

Perfect, just keep doing it, it looks great on the screen

Me:

Hey do you know anything about the scene with John’s 4 friends and Philiomena’s 4 friends?

Our AD:

What?

Mary:

What are you miming?

Me:

Don’t hate the player, hate the game. It’s the only thing in a Limerick accent I can think of.

Mary: (looking behind me towards the tinkers yard)

Well there’s a horse out there

Director:

Action

Me: (miming)

Fuck your Honda Civic, I’ve a horse outside

Mary: (miming)

Oh is that your horse? Nice

I tried this a couple of times but didn’t like it so resorted back to player hating. We had a tea break and then for the last few shots they had the camera on a little train track. It cut right along the corner of the carousel though so we couldn’t get past. There was a couple of people who walked behind us and all four of us would pile up in a corner between the train track and the carousel after we passed the camera. We’d all just stand there looking straight ahead, afraid to turn around and ruin the shot. Finally we did do one last take and I was talking about player hating during it. If I make the cut, that’s what I should be miming if my mouth is in view. What will definitely be in view though are my super short Limerick side burns. How did the hair and make-up lady know?

SCENE 9. EXT. BETWEEN TAKES

Between takes Mary started to complain about the cold. I had trousers, cycling trousers, big boots and a couple of pairs of socks on but all the girls had were a skirt, a pair of tights and a crappy pair of shoes that left a lot of the foot bare. Too small for foot warmers, too cold for no foot warmers. And they were freezing. She was one of these people who can’t do angry though and just sat there and sucked it up instead of telling someone who could do something about it. I cant for the life of me understand why she sat and watched every single take she wasn't in though, I was off every 5 minutes getting something to eat or drink, going back to the van to sit down or huddling up in the tent. Apart from getting foot cramp from all the pocket warmers I had stuffed in my boots the only real problem I had was my ears which I pressed hand warmers against when I could. She just sat out there in the elements, tempting the night to come and take her away.

SCENE 10. EXT. TOFFEE APPLE

John:

That’s the kind of strange man your mother told you about

Philiomena:

I wouldn’t mind a bite of his toffee apple

John:

Hey Declan

Declan:

Yeah

John:

You want this?

Declan:

Yeah

John:

I’ll swap ya

While this conversation is happening I just finish up a shooting gallery game, put down the gun and turn to rejoin Mary. How I’m finishing a game when we were literally just walking arm in arm past the couple 2 seconds ago I don’t know. And who the hell is that girl Mary is talking to all of a sudden? I don’t know her. She just appeared out of nowhere, the continuity is all off. Cut, cut, its all wrong, get rid of her and let us continue walking to the hall of mirrors.

I couldn’t be arsed with proper miming anymore. I did my award winning bit in the last scene, I don’t think I’m even in shot anymore, no matter how hard I try. The 3 of us all just did a lot of pointing, smiling and nodding. It’s such a struggle to try and look like you’re having a real conversation. I really notice extras on screen since that day. Next time you watch the episode of Father Ted where they go to the mainland and Mrs Doyle is in the café fighting with her friend over the bill, check out the old couple in the background. They are just terrible.

From this spot I could see the screen and the replays of the takes. The lead girl was way too hot to be from Limerick in the 50’s. There’s an Irish 1950’s look and there’s a present day Scottish model look. Again I wanted to tell someone but kept quiet, it was probably too late to change her now.

SCENE 11. EXT. LAST SCENE

It was around 11pm and there was one more scene to do. About half of the extras got the early bus home including Mary who decided to call it a day before risking hypothermia. The last couple from the mini bus left too without once having been on set, some day they had.

The shot was from the knackers yard where the young couple were about to get it on. I had my doubts that there was going to be room for any friends in the scene and I was right. We were way way off in the background for this one. It was me and some other girl walking from the throw darts at cards stall to the Pakistani in a sombrero stall. Also leaving together from this stall were two loud Dublin lads around my age. One, a northsider, had a bit of a Michael Collins haircut and the other, a southsider, used to go to Marian College. It was late and they were getting a bit giddy and acting the bollox. After a few shots the AD came over and gave us some direction about where we should walk. He turned to the two lads

AD 6:

...and if you guys could just banana around the carousel over to the far side.

After he left the Marian College guy took charge

Marian College guy: (taking the piss)

Yeah and then you pineapple over this way

He had his hands out to the side, knees bent and was jumping forward two footed

And then papaya to the side like this

More crab movements. I lost it. The day was too long and I was too tired and too cold. The papaya bit just pushed me over the edge. I was becoming hysterical.

We pineappled back and forth to the Pakistani in a sombrero stall for a few practice shots. Just before the stall we would pass by the two simple girls with big dopey smiley heads on them, walking in completely straight lines turning on a dime like some retarded sped up robots. Then someone shouted for all of us to take off our jackets for the real shots. Any last bit of enthusiasm I had suddenly died.

The Marian guy wasn’t happy either and was making some weird noise with the back of his throat

Marian guy:

Niiiii, niiiii, you just can’t be this cold for this long without repercussions, niiiii, niiiiii, I definitely have some man flu coming my way tomorrow

Some AD tried to pick our spirits up

AD 7:

Remember ladies and gents you’re still having a good time at the fair.

I tried for one last push to smile and pretend to talk to the girl on my arm.

That’s the magic of movies, look like you’re having fun

SCENE 12. INT. MINI-VAN

Finally we wrapped it up just after 1am, got changed, got our pay slips and got in the van. We made over 200 quid for standing around all day eating and drinking and having a bit of craic. Slightly pissed that I probably won’t be hearing from Hollywood anytime soon but otherwise can’t complain. I was first of our group in the van so headed for the back seat but there was someone already there asleep so I took the seat in front of them. After a few more people got in I took my jacket off and accidentally hit the knee of the person asleep behind me

Sleeper: (sleepily)

ugh... what time is it?

It was Mary

Michael Collins guy:

Around 1, what are you still doing here?

Mary:

Ah feck sake, what happened?

She was angry but you wouldn’t know

Michael Collins:

Did you not leave with the others?”

Mary:

I was with them waiting for the bus, I thought we all left together. I don’t know how this happened, I’m so depressed, I should be home by now.

MC:

Shit one. Here how much did you get?

Mary:

About £160, what did you’s get?

MC:

Yeah something like that

That better have been one good sleep.

We drove through Piccadilly and from the warmth of the van wondered why the girls in short skirts outside Tiger Tiger would purposely do that to themselves.

MC: (reflective)

I’m glad I didn’t go out tonight. This was better than a night out, I made money instead of spending money, and on a night out you only get to do things once whereas I got to do everything 15 times, it was great

SCENE 13. INT. IN BED THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON

Me:

Niiiiiiiiiiiii

Almost famous

SCENE 1. INT. EXTRAS AGENCY

Two months earlier at extras agency registration. Couch and chairs in front of a TV. About eight of us sitting waiting, two of them in army outfits, couple of fierce Irish looking people too. Got to talking to girl beside me, a fellow Dub. Guy starts to call the register: Irish name after Irish name.

Guy:

Some of you are here cause you have army costumes, and some of you are here cause you’re Irish. They are going to be shooting a period drama set in Ireland. Apparently starring the Fastbender (sp is wrong I know) in the movie about Coocoolin (again)….oh shit I shouldn’t have told you’s that.

            Needless to say this news went straight to my head

           

SCENE 2. INT. JOE’S VAN, SOMEWHERE ON THE 406 GOING WEST. 6.30AM

I finally googled the film name that the extras agency kept quoting in texts and emails

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2431286/fullcredits#cast

Feck! All this time I thought that the silly name was code so they could keep the Coocoolin film secret. No Fastbender. Disaster.

SCENE 3. EXT. TRAIN STATION SOMEWHERE NEAR OXFORD. 9.00AM

Waiting for a lift to the set. There was an Irish looking girl waiting outside the station too, we got to talking. She’s really an actress but will be an extra today. Her name’s Mary. A little further down there was a guy with a ginger beard waiting too. A mini-van pulled up and we all got in

SCENE 4. EXT. FILM SET.

Loads of modern looking mobile homes about but we got brought around to a double-decker bus kitted out with tables. Beardy guy tried to introduce himself to the lads that brought us around but they weren’t interested.

Breakfast. I went for muesli, toast, yoghurt, a fruit salad, coffee and an orange for later. Me and Mary sat opposite each other, he sat towards the back. We just got started on breakfast and then got called away.

SCENE 5. EXT. OUTSIDE HAIR AND MAKE-UP MOBILE HOME.

Brought over to talk to hair and make-up lady. Someone handed us a sheet of paper each and the hair and make-up lady was full of chat about what she was going to change about Mary and beardy guy.

Beardy:

Hi, I’m ____ by the way, I usually work on blah blah blah

Make-up lady:

Yeah I have been looking at your picture and have a few ideas about what I’m going to do with you

            To Mary

And I have some ideas for you too

Me: (under my breath)

But…but…I’m in the film too

Mary looked at me as if to say maybe I should say something. We walked back towards the bus.

Mary:

I got fairgoer, what did you’s get?

Beardy:

I’m a stall holder

I looked at my sheet for the first time, scanned the page for something relevant and then there it was: “John’s friend.” Needless to say this went straight to my head. Art imitates life. Who the hell is John? I can’t believe the trained actress and the lick are just lowly old fairgoers and stall holders and I’ve got an actual part. This is intense, what if I get a line? I can’t believe it.

SCENE 6. INT. DOUBLE DECKER

Five young ladies in nurse outfits came in and sat down. They were chatting away and laughing about the state of the costumes they had to wear. Not an Irish accent between them. A normal black outfit nun in her fifties and a nun in an all white outfit followed them and sat across from me and Mary. Black nun diagonally across from me was very giddy about her costume and kept trying to adjust it but it wouldn’t stop sticking up into her chin when she was sitting down. She was rolling around the seat trying to get comfortable and laughing away. Mary joined in. It was just a very funny scene. Mary couldn’t stop herself now; was trying to say something to the black nun but kept laughing over the words.

Black nun:

What is it dear? You can tell me anything

I had a few laughs over my yoghurt about that and similar banter

White nun:

How’s the tailoring going?

Me:

What? Ah it’s yourself, didn’t recognize you behind the outfit there, what’s the craic? Have you got a proper part yeah? How did that happen?

White nun:

Yeah, right after we registered that day they rang me up and asked if I could come in for a week of filming. Then they stuck this nun outfit on me and got me to walk around in front of the camera all day, it’s great

Me:

Ah wow, that’s great

Little did she know that behind the smile I was pretty pissed. Why didn’t I get called up for a week? What a joke. Luckily I got called over to costume and make-up so didn’t have to stay and pretend congratulate for much longer. You get paid £19 if they cut your hair which is handy cause I’m in need of a trim. I grew out my pathetic beard too as much as possible just in case they pay you for a shave. I hope it’s a proper barber’s shave, never had one of them before.

SCENE 7. EXT. OUTSIDE HAIR AND MAKE-UP MOBILE HOME

Beardy guy was chatting to hair and make-up lady. I felt an annoying chatty mood coming on: a rare occurrence.

Beardy:

…Honestly, I need to keep my hair the way it is in order to keep getting parts. If you want to take an inch off the back though that’s alright

Make-up lady:

No you’re fine, we’ll leave you so. Ok you next

            She checked out my head

Make-up lady:

We’ll bring you in for a chop now. Why didn’t you shave?

Me:

I have to warn you, I lose 5 to 10 years when I get a hair cut and a shave at the same time.

Make-up lady:

You’ll be alright. Wait hang on, turn around. You might be fine actually, just need to sort out the sideburns, come on inside.

SCENE 8. INT. HAIR AND MAKE-UP MOBILE HOME

Me:

You know I’m John’s friend right? What does that mean (for my hair)?

            She stopped cleaning the blade and turned to me, looking serious all of a sudden

Make-up lady: (in a sinister voice)

You’re dodgy

She clipped a tiny bit off the back and sides and then started on my side burns but got a bit carried away and went way too high

Make-up lady:

You’re meant to come here clean shaven, make sure you do on Saturday

Me:

No one told me to

Make-up lady:

But that’s what it’s always like

Me:

Well this is the first one I’ve done

Make-up lady:

Well you need to be clean shaven with clean hair

Me:

What’s clean hair mean?

Make-up lady:

It means wash your hair the night before

Me:

But my hair gets all bouncy and out of control when I wash it

Make-up lady:

Don’t worry, we can sort that out

She scalped my side-burns 1950’s Limerick style and then they took a couple of photos.

Costume was quick and painless too. Then I walked back towards the bus. Some girl led me there and I felt like my day was about to end

Girl:

Did you get a hair cut?

Me:

Nah not really, she just straightened my sideburns. Oh wait…I mean yeah she took a good bit off the back and sides too.

Girl:

Ok we’ll put you down for a hair cut, here keep this

She handed me my sheet, £70 for a couple of hours eating food and standing around, I think I’ve found my dream part time job

To waistcoat or not to waistcoat

That is the question. I really dont know if I can pull off wearing a waistcoat in everyday life. I'm good at making them now plus I'm pretty much almost there in having one fit me perfectly but whats the point if the only time I can wear them is at weddings and the like? Can I wear a really nice waistcoat out on the sesh to somewhere like coppers? And how often can I wear them? It probably wouldn't take too many appearances to get known as the guy who wears the waistcoat - ah here's waistcoat boy again - does it fit him yet? - nah - waistcoat wanker!

The first waistcoat we made was too big and blocky, and the second one was too tiny and ridiculous so I didnt really see the appeal of them until I watched Mad Men for the first time a couple of months ago. That Roger Sterling sure knows how to wear a cloth back waistcoat.

This pic doesn't really prove that, maybe watch the show. But bloody hell they know how to dress in that show. Then you notice that in every film set over 50 years ago every man in a suit is wearing a waistcoat, and they do look good. It's such a shame that everyone doesn't still wear waistcoats with such wild abandon as they used to cause if they did for one thing I'd probably be in a job now. Plus I'd be able to wear a waistcoat around all the time without risking a slagging.

If Mad Men was the show that got me wanting to make really nice suit waistcoats then Kevin McCloud's Man Made Home was the show that got me wanting to make myself more casual waistcoats.

(Unfortunately not in pic) He has this deadly suede one that he wears out in the garden fixing up his house that is just really nice and comfy looking and has handy little pockets for keeping nails in or what not. As well as the suit waistcoat its time the casual waistcoat came back too. I have some vest thing for cycling that is cool, as light as a feather and keeps you just warm enough when its not that warm outside. That's it, from now on everything I make is going to be in waistcoat form, I'm bringing them back baby!

I just dont know if Dublin is ready for it yet though, I shaved just the back and sides of my hair there recently and got a serious slagging when I got home, then one of the lads put on a sleeveless body warmer and got ripped out of it too. I'll bring them back in London first when I go back. I'll be looking like JGL in no time, if he can pull them both off maybe I can too.